


A Night in Eden

by blu_eyed_demon



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Between Episodes, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, M/M, Making Out, Missing Scene, conflicted Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 17:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6619717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blu_eyed_demon/pseuds/blu_eyed_demon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec's torn between his feelings and the strict shadowhunter and Lightwood family code he'd been raised with. The pressure is immense and he found out his parents planned to marry him off he goes AWOL for the first time. It only leaves him more confused and conflicted that ever before. </p><p>A missing scene fic about what happened between having cocktails with Magnus in Episode 6 and Alec coming home in Episode 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night in Eden

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is my first fic I've managed to write in 3 years so I'd love feedback, please be gentle though! I just couldn't stop wondering what might have happened the night Alec stayed over and suddenly a drabble became 11 pages.

Eyes closed, Alec breathed deep. The smells of Magnus's apartment, the scent of magic and burning fragrant herbs underlined with a deep, spicy and yet unidentifiable quality, had become familiar so quickly. 

And, considering the situation, he felt oddly calm. His parents wanted to marry him off, auction him off like some prize stud. He'd gone AWOL from the institute to come over the the warlock's apartment at Jace's request and ended up giving over a significant portion of his energy to healing a werewolf. Oh, and he'd ended up with the same warlock flopped in his arms. 

He swallowed hard as he tried not to think about Magnus in his arms, looking up at him like...well, looking at him in a way he'd hoped Jace would for as long as he could remember. It wasn't a consolation prize though, it was more a revelation. This whole evening had been. 

Before tonight he could tell himself that Magnus's pretty boy comment was a joke, that the drinks invite was just being sociable. But that oblivious bubble had now burst and everything was overwhelming and confusing.

Maybe he could put it all down to one enormous lapse of judgement, a brief moment of teenage rebellion that he rarely allowed himself. 

“Alexander,” He could almost hear the smile in Magnus's tone. “I hope you've not fallen asleep on me. I thought shadowhunters were famed for their stamina.” 

Opening his eyes, Alec watched as Magnus crossed the room in his usual shower of glitter and jangling jewellery. He'd seen, met and even killed a lot of unusual people and creatures in his life, but Alec had never met anyone like Magnus. 

He swallowed and decided, nope there was more to this than just teenage rebellion.

“Maybe when we haven't been magically drained we do,” Alec pointed out, eyebrows raising as Magnus sat on the bed and held out another cocktail glass. “I thought you said I needed rest?” 

“And rest can't involve drinks and delightful company?” Magnus oozed a kind of charm that was playful rather than smarmy and Alec kept finding that he couldn't not smile back. 

Jace and Clary had left, Alec had heard them in the other room. He'd been left, at Magnus's suggestion, as shadowhunter protection whilst Luke recovered from his injuries and Magnus regained his strength. 

Propping himself up a little, he sipped his cocktail, only slightly wincing now. He'd grown nearly accustomed to the burn that came with it. They weren't strong somehow though, or perhaps they didn't affect him the way they would a mudane. He'd seen drunken and sloppy people around Pandemonium and he was sure that he wasn't one of those. He simply felt...less panicstricken and confused. Sort of. 

“What are you doing?” Alec asked as Magnus kicked off his heeled boots and started to make himself comfortable. 

“There's an injured werewolf in my bed and blood on my couch,” Magnus's own drink hovered in the air until he was in a position he was pleased with- propped up on his elbows and turned towards Alec. Not overly close but still, he and Alec were on the same bed and Alec was sure that shouldn't feel like a huge deal and yet it did. His heart was pounding all of a sudden, so loud he was sure Magnus would be able to hear it. “Where else do you suggest I go? Of course, we could top and tails. That position always leads to fun.” 

His eyes were glittering with playful amusement again as Alec, after he realised exactly what was being alluded to, started to splutter again.

“So easy to blush,” Magnus seemed to be enjoying his reaction though, sipping his drink and surveying Alec. More like checking him out. 

A silence fell between them and Alec was thinking over Magnus's words from before. He'd unlocked something in him. Unlocked. 

That part had really caught him, he knew what it was to lock feelings and truths away. He'd buried it all deep and hoped it would never surface but then damn Clary Fray had gone talking about his feelings for Jace. Saying things out loud that he, Alec, had never even dared to think on too much let alone admit to someone else. She'd said it like it was nothing, like they weren't words that could shatter his whole world. Like it was easy. 

Everything lately had been because of Clary, really. Summoning a demon, the unsanctioned missions, breaking the rules, his parents deciding to marry him off to fix it all, everything. It was all rooted in the fact that she was running around causing chaos in a world that she didn't understand.

Even here and now wouldn't have happened without her, though Alec was finding it hard to consider that a bad thing. Yes, he was disobeying his parents for the first time in a long while and, yes, it was going against his training as a shadowhunter to respect leadership and structure but...

Damn it, why couldn't he be the one to have a little fun for once? Why couldn't he be the one breaking the rules and sneaking off with a Downworlder? 

Because being with Magnus was fun. A terrifying and stutter inducing kind of fun and yet he still wanted more. He just wasn't quite sure what 'more' would entail. 

“My eyes are up here, you know.” That teasing, playful tone again. The one that Alec was sure made him blush. 

“So many shiny things, I'm easily distracted.” He joked back, apparently catching Magnus off guard judging by the laugh he let out. The shirt was particularly distracting and had been all night.

“I could take some of it off if you asked me nicely.” 

The offer came just as Alec was taking another sip and caused him to choke a little in surprise. 

“Or if you asked me nastily, either way could be fun.” Magnus continued, obviously delighting in Alec's every reaction.

“I'm pretty sure,” Alec decided, putting the glass aside before he became the first shadowhunter in history to drown to death in a cocktail. “You're only saying this stuff to get a reaction.” 

“Would you care to test that theory, Alexander?” As he leaned in closer, Alec unconsciously licked his lips and watched as Magnus's eyes followed the movement.

“No one calls me that.” Was for some reason the first thing out of his mouth. 

“Well,” Magnus's thumb traced Alec's lower lip, mimicking the action his tongue had just made. “You can call me 'Nobody'.”

Alec's snort of laughter was mostly from nervous energy, mostly. “Smooth.” 

“I must confess I'm usually smoother. You can blame the being tapped out of energy or your presence, whichever reason you prefer.” Magnus told him, staying so close. Their bodies and faces where practically touching now, Alec could feel the other man's warmth and it felt...Actually, it felt pretty good, he decided. It was everything he'd told himself he couldn't and shouldn't have but somehow it felt right. This, this utterly ridiculous and flamboyant warlock was, among other things, the first person to make him feel this free in a very long time. 

It was funny how things turned out really. 

“Come back to me Alexander,” Lips were so closer to his ear now, murmuring softly. The warmth of Magnus's breath sent a very obvious shiver through him. 

“I, uh, sorry I was, you know,” 

“Far away for a moment, it's ok.” Magnus pulled back just a little, enough to recline back comfortable. He was no long invading Alec's personal space quite as much as he had been and seemed to be making himself comfortable. “From what I gather you've had quite an interesting time since a certain redhead crash landed into our laps.” 

Magnus plucked his glass out of thin air, which only startled Alec because he hadn't realised it was floating up there again, and drained it before carrying on. “Now, serious for a moment, I have lain my cards out for you. I simply wish to get to know you better, I do not bite or do anything else when I'm not welcome. We're just two very handsome men enjoying cocktails on a bed, the rest is up to you.” 

It was startling to Alec how much those words hit home with him. It wasn't often at all that somebody completely gave him free choice. Yes, he was a leader but he was a leader within a strict code. He knew what was expected and what had to be done and how. This, this thing with Magnus was completely foreign. There were no clear guidelines to show him right from wrong, no road map from A to B. He didn't even know what 'A' and 'B' might look like. 

But he liked this, this energy between them. Whatever was happening. He even liked the not knowing.

He was smiling, perhaps stupidly, back at Magnus as he told him “You should get sapped of energy more often, it makes you pretty sweet for someone who's meant to be a high warlock.” After saying it, he eyed Magnus a touch wearily. It was never wise to insult someone who could use magic after all.

He started breathing again when Magnus just laughed. “A high warlock can be very sweet if they wish, just like they can be as naughty as they wish too. Besides I'm not the only one showing new sides, am I?”

“Tonight wasn't the first time I've come to your rescue, Magnus.” 

“True but not what I meant. You look so relaxed, Alexander. Aside from when I start speaking, of course. I can't help wondering though: what brought you here? What makes you stay?” As he spoke, his index finger began to lightly trace the deflect rune on Alec's neck. 

Affectionate touches 'just because' weren't exactly foreign to Alec, he and Jace and Izzy hugged and so on but this felt different. It was almost as though Magnus couldn't resist it now he was so close, as though he wanted to learn every inch of him. And Alec wanted to let him, that was the terrifying part. 

“I...you. But I don't know why.” 

Magnus smiled and Alec was sure he knew as well as Alec that they both knew why he was there, he just needed extreme baby steps. 

“Soon enough you will.” He'd moved on to tracing the runes on Alec's arm, the one nearest him of course, and Alec's eyes slid closed. 

Magnus, it seemed, was standing by his word at the not pushing things which made him nothing but grateful. He also felt utterly certain that had he asked, Magnus would have stopped his tracing immediately. He hadn't wanted him to stop though, 

In fact, when fingertips lightly caressed the last rune on that arm, Alec felt the urge to take off his black t-shirt to allow the other man access to more. A strong urge that he resisted nonetheless. 

He opened his eyes again to find Magnus watching him. Alec realised, looking up at him, that he wasn't the only one strangely relaxed. Magnus was, well he wasn't the well-put-together and ever so cool warlock he'd seen before. Maybe he wasn't as well recovered as Alec had initially assumed or maybe, a small voice in his mind dared to hope, it was because they were alone together.  
Currently, Magnus also looked as exposed as Alec felt, not the bad kind of exposed more like he'd taken off some layers of armour. 

“When I gave you strength,” He asked softly as though there wasn't a werewolf in the house who, if conscious, had undoubtedly heard everything anyway. “Did you take anything else? Not like, I'm not accusing you of anything. Just wondering.” 

“So worried you'll offend me, do you think my affections would fade so quickly? That I'd curse you and turn you into a toad?” Magnus chuckled again. “No Alexander, any personal or Shadowhunter secrets are still perfectly safe. I was barely holding on when you arrived, I couldn't have done more than use your strength and just hold on.” 

“It felt strange, it didn't feel like you were draining me. It was intense but not like, like a vampire feeding more like sharing a connection.” Alec shook his head a little. “Until Clary exploded in our lives I hadn't met too many warlocks, definitely never had magic used on me. I didn't know what to expect. It wasn't like you were taking and draining me, more like we were sharing or something.” And he was rambling again, apparently his brain filter had left the building too. This was why he preferred the less in more approach to conversation, this way he sounded like Clary's mundane. 

“It does depends on the warlock and their intent,” Magnus told him and Alec found himself thinking it almost sounded like a purr as Magnus lounged luxuriously beside him. Alec couldn't decide if Magnus was naturally cat like or if it was the memory of his cats eyes as they knelt beside Luke that was affecting how Alec saw him now.

“And my intent, whilst not exactly pure, is certainly good.” 

Their eyes met again and Alec found himself acting before he could think of consequences, something that he wasn't prone to do at all.

He pressed his lips to Magnus's, soft and slow. He gasped softly, it felt like his heart was pounding in his ears and his hand shaking just a little as it moved to rest lightly on Magnus's side. He wanted to touch but had no clue where or how or for how long. 

Unsurprising, this was his first real kiss. Not counting a dared kiss some years ago during a rare time when other shadowhunter kids had slept over and stupid games ensued. Jace had dared him to kiss Aline Penhallow. It had been painfully awkward for both of them and his parabati had laughed about it for almost a fortnight. 

His first real kiss and his mind was racing and he was panicking about what to do with his hands and should a first kiss involve tongues or not? And what exactly was he meant to do with his tongue anyway? What was this meant to lead to? Was he meant to be having fun? Was this the fun part Izzy always alluded to? To Alec it was more terrifying than a battle and yet somehow more exhilarating too. After years of denying himself, it felt good to just give in. 

As though he was reading Alec's mind, Magnus took over control. Not forcefully at all, he cupped Alec's cheek and leaned in, pressing their bodies together and eliciting a small sigh from Alec. When Alec's lips parted from the sigh, Magnus took advantage of it to gently swipe his tongue. It was slow and gentle and yet utterly intense. Alec thought he might go out of his mind from a single kiss. The sweetest kiss from the most sinful lips. 

And then, his phone rang. Of course. 

“Duty calls?” Magnus asked, though he'd pulled away he was still close enough that Alec could feel the warlock's lips brushing against his. 

Alec shook his head very slightly. “No, no. I...I can be shadowhunter-Alec later. Tomorrow. Whatever. Just wanna be someone else right now.” 

Magnus pulled away a little, stroking Alec's cheek with his thumb and looking him over with an expression Alec couldn't read. Without his make up, he looked so young. It made it so hard to think of him having been alive for countless generations of the Lightwood family. 

“Alexander,” He started, ever so serious again. “Here you can always be yourself, I promise you this.” And a promise from a warlock offered with no request for payment was not something given lightly, Alec knew this. 

“I don't...I can't...I d-don't kn-know who that is.” He admitted, eyes sliding closed and head dipping in shame. 

“And that's perfectly alright too. It's a process and one I will very happily walk with you through if you wish for it.” Magnus offered, taking a hold of Alec's chin gently and guiding him back up. “There is no shame or judgement here. No expectations at all. So, with that in mind, what do you want to do right now, Alexander?” 

Unable to vocalise what he wanted, Alec simply leaned in again. 

Kissing Magnus might be foreign, even a little scary, but it was the first time in so long that he didn't feel weighed down by the feeling that there was something wrong with him and his feelings. The guilt and everything else that weighed him down would probably come back eventually but for now he felt utterly free. 

Alec lost track of time. Lips and hands explored in ways he'd only ever dreamed before and some he couldn't have ever imagined. Teeth grazing over his throat, flickering tongue and all sorts of other tricks that blew his mind and he eagerly tried out in return. And yet they never underdressed, not even shirts off. Just a heavy, hungry teenage make out session. With an immortal warlock. As you do.

'Just' making out or not, it blew Alec's mind completely. What was left of the night went by in a blur of rolling around the luxurious bed, lost in the feeling of kisses, bites and gropes as they gasped and sighed. 

When Alec finally fell back onto the bed, breathing hard and cheeks flushed, he was exhausted but happy. Who'd have believed it he'd end up here? A crazy day. Chasing Clary around town, then werewolves, then getting magically drained and then, then this. Overwhelmed didn't cover it. 

Magnus's smiling face was hovering above him with that look on his face again. The look he'd had when he'd collapsed in Alec's arms after they'd saved Luke. Like Alec was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. 

“It's nearly morning, I suppose we should hit pause on this before a troop of shadowhunters burst in here accusing me of kidnapping.” Magnus told his, the regret obvious as he dipped down to press one last kiss on Alec's lips. “And try not to forget this when you slip back into 'Shadowhunter Alec' mode, you still owe me that drink.” 

Alec nodded a little, mostly wondering how he was going to explain coming back to the institute after disappearing for a night and being utterly exhausted when Clary and Jace were going to be retrieving the mortal cup and would almost certainly cause chaos and need back up. Since the little girl had turned up, trouble had increased tenfold.

Looking around, he asked breathily “Seen my stele?” 

“Is that a euphemism?” Magnus shot back immediately. 

Laughing just a little, he said “Need a stamina rune.” He sat up to look around as he heard Magnus saying 

“Wish you'd thought of that before, runes can be useful for 'extracurricular activities' too, you know.” The way Magnus said it, Alec couldn't help thinking it sounded like he had experience in that area. He pushed the thought away quickly, Magnus was immortal and his tastes seemed pretty varied so was it really a surprise he'd hooked up with a shadowhunter or more before? Not really. 

“Runes aren't made to be played with.” Alec regurgitated the lesson he'd learnt as a child automatically, reciting his mother's words. It caused Magnus to chuckle. 

“All work and no play makes Alec a dull boy.” He purred, leaning in close to Alec's ear again. He nipped the lobe gently before adding “The things I could teach you, Alexander. If you'll let me.” 

Alec's eyes closed and he shivered visibly. Part of him wanted to stay in Magnus's bed, duties be damned. 

That part of himself lost the battle however. 

“Your stele is here,” Magnus told him, twirling the silver instrument in his fingers. “It was poking into my hip a while back so I moved it.” 

“Oh, um sorry about that.” Alec reached for his stele and Magnus playfully pulled it out of reach. 

“No, no. Allow me.” 

“Huh?” Was about all Alec could manage but it didn't matter, Magnus pushed him to lie back down again and smoothly moved to straddle his hips. Alec swallowed hard as a flood of very unpure thoughts flooded his mind. 

“Yeah, I have a pretty good view too,” Magnus purred again as though reading Alec's mind. Could warlock's do that? “Now, hold this here for me.” He pulled the collar of Alec's t-shirt aside to expose a spot under his collar bone, close to a faint bite mark. Alec obeyed immediately, mostly because he was still trying to process the situation. 

“I...you know what rune you're doing, right?” He managed to ask, he was trying to focus but Magnus straddling him was ridiculously hot. His hand was sliding up Magnus's thigh as he spoke. 

“I've dealt with more Shadowhunters than you, Alexander.” He was gently scolded as Magnus lent down. “I know my runes but if your hand goes any higher my concentration might be interrupted.” 

“Oh, right, sorry.” 

“Don't be, just wait until I'm not branding you. Now hold still and I'll sort you out.” 

It wasn't as though he'd never had a rune put on him by another before but this was different from his parents or even Jace. It was funny though, thinking of Jace suddenly felt like a betrayal to Magnus. 

Runes hurt, of course they did, but he'd learnt a long time to not react to it. And yet Magnus being so close as he started to etch the rune onto Alec's skin, it was impossible not to react to that. Eyes locked on Magnus's, he could feel his heart pounding and his breathing hitching again.

Was this more warlock magic or was it just the effect Magnus Bane had on him? 

Halfway through the design, Magnus paused with a wicked grin on his face “Oh Alexander, that's certainly not a stele in your pocket now.” And to underline his point he rocked his hips just a little but enough to give a little friction and make Alec's hips arc up against him with a loud moan that startled him and made Magnus's expression light up. 

“Oh, now that's gorgeous. If you could see yourself.” He told Alec, continuing to grind his hips every so often as he finished the rune forcing Alec to hold still to avoid the rune being ruined when all he wanted to do was grind back. It was torturous and teasing and, fuck, if he wasn't loving it. 

By the time Magnus finished with a flourish, Alec was lying there with gritted teeth. Magnus rolled his hips once more and Alec groaned, breathing harsher now “We-we shouldn't, I'm not-” It felt so good but kissing had been a revelation and he wasn't sure he could take much more. 

Magnus immediately stopped and though he'd promised Alec this was the case, Alec still sent him a grateful smile. His mother had always told him you could never trust a downworlder and yet he could trust Magnus, he felt sure of it in every fibre of his being. He already did.

“Th-thanks,” He looked up at Magnus who was still straddling him, his breathing was normalizing though his situation wasn't going to go anywhere with Magnus still on him. “I guess I should, you know...” 

“Go, yes.” Magnus sighed, looking regretful as he looked Alec over again. “But you're welcome back anytime you 'feel like yourself' again. Or if you want to get a feel of me.” 

He slid off of Alec's lap fluidly, everything about that man was utterly graceful, Alec noticed. The more he saw, the more he found himself captivated and the harder it was to swallow down these urges, and yet what else could he do? He was a shadowhunter first and foremost, everything else came second and that was that. 

Guilt was already setting in as he located his leather jacket and boots, slipping them on and feeling Magnus's eyes on him all the while. A touch awkwardly, he 'adjusted himself' before turning back towards the other man.

Magnus was reclined on the bed again, drink in hand again as though it had never left and watching Alec intently. The silence made Alec feel as though he should say something but he had no clue what that was. He'd never been in this situation before, what was the etiquette? 

Approaching the bed one last time, he held his hand out “My stele?” 

With a smug expression, Magnus told him. “And what will I get in return?” 

“Oh, I see. Warlock is demanding payments again?” Alec pretended to think about it, knowing exactly what Magnus was angling for. He dipped down, pressing a quick and chaste kiss to the warlock's lips. 

“Oh, I know you can do better than that, Alexander.” 

The second kiss was heated and harsh, so intense it was as though they might never see one another again. A thought popped up in the back of his head that maybe Magnus was concerned he wouldn't come back.  
Worse part was, Alec couldn't blame him. He was already thinking of all the reasons why this had been a mistake. A glorious mistake but a mistake nonetheless.

As their lips parted, he felt his stele being slipped into his back pocket and the hand responsible taking the opportunity to 'accidentally' cop a feel. 

“Goodbye Alexander, good luck with wrangling your parabatai and Miss Fray ” Alec nodded and started towards the door as Magnus's voice called after him “And the more foreboding task of convincing Isabelle that your honour is still intact.” 

Alec winced, knowing he was right. Feeling a blush rising he look other his shoulder and shot Magnus a look that should have been withering but whatever expression he managed simply made Magnus laugh and blow a kiss. 

 

Leaving the flat and heading back to the institute, Alec barely noticed where he was going. Already the night before didn't seem real. He had been in bed with a man. A man. And he'd kissed him and made out with him and he'd even gotten hard for Magnus. A man. 

 

And he'd love every second of it. 

 

* 

As he walked into the institute he cursed to himself that, of course, Izzy was right there in his path. Magnus had been right, this was not a good feeling. 

He hunched over slightly, curling inward as if somehow that would stop her from noticing him and his rumpled clothes. What made the situation even worse was that Izzy wasn't dressed like Izzy, rather as a mini version of their mom. That was a weird and faintly disturbing turn of events in itself. 

“Slept over Magnus's place?” His younger sister was smirking, revenge he supposed for all of the times he'd teased her about that Seelie boy toy of hers. 

“Didn't do much sleeping,” Slipped out and, before she could get a word in he hastily added “I was helping treat Luke's wounds. That's all.” 

“Really?” He didn't need to be looking at Izzy to know that she was smirking. In that moment he hated his sister and how well she knew him. Life would be a whole lot easier if she was blissfully oblivious like Jace. 

Turning on his heel, he faced her and demanded “What?” Because as much as he didn't want to talk about it, he couldn't walk away now. He couldn't have her thinking she'd gotten one over on him. That was in the sibling rulebook somewhere for sure.

Sighing, Izzy finally tore her attention away from the screen “Nothing. I believe you.” she told him with a tone and expression that said she didn't. 

In an attempt to sate her curiosity he decided to disclose a half truth, hey she was the one who spent time with Seelie's right? She should be used to it. 

After a quick look around for potential eavesdroppers, he told her in a softer tone. “Ok, Magnus made cocktails. I'm telling you nothing else happened.” 

Izzy wasn't buying it though “When you're ready to talk about whatever you need to talk about, I'm here.” 

“Hey, I talk to you.” 

“About everything but your personal life. You know and it's kinda not fair because I talk to you about mine all the time.” Alec couldn't stop the eye roll there, she was seriously playing that as her guilt trip card? As if he wanted to know even half of the 'personal life' things Izzy had told him. No one wanted to hear their little sister talk about that stuff. 

“For example, I broke up with Meliorn.”

“Really? Turning over a new leaf?” No sympathy came through because he felt none, Izzy never got her heart broken because she never gave it out. She'd probably just gotten bored.

“He was a little much. Apparently I need someone more shadowhunter-ish.” Izzy heaved a sigh of breath heavily and Alec finally did feel sorry for her. Breaking up because of their parents' wishes just didn't seem fair to him, she should be able to date and love who she chose not who they did. 

“Izzy, I realise that you're trying to take some of the family heat, and I appreciate it.” Hell, considering their feelings about Izzy's downworlder dalliances, he dreaded to think was their parents would think of his. “But you can't change who you are.” And the persona in front of him just wasn't Izzy. 

Turning away he heard her say “Really,” And ugh, that tone. He'd definitely chosen the wrong words there. “And you can?” 

“I know who I am.” He couldn't help remembering that nervous stuttering, telling Magnus the opposite. Which was true? Both, he suppose. Right now he knew one thing: he was a shadowhunter and a Lightwood. He had duties to both and he was not about to let his little sister shoulder the burden alone. 

“I'm the guy who's about to be disowned when dad finds out that Jace and Clary are still out doing God knows what.” And how could he defend that? He had shirked his duties and let them go after the cup without him because he was too busy thinking with his dick. 

“I think dad's used to that by now, this is Jace were talking about.” Golden boy Jace who broke the rules and charmed his way out of every bind. It wasn't Alec's way, not in the slightest, if he broke the rules he took the punishment with dignity but he's always admired the way Jace breezed through everything. 

Still, he was concerned. “He said he'd be an hour. It's been three.” And maybe if he hadn't been, been where he had been he'd have realised that sooner. 

“You don't think he and Clary are...?” And, of course, Izzy had brought the conversation full circle back to sex. 

“At a time like this? Not possible.” He didn't need that image in his head on top of everything else. He had to get out of there and get into fresh clothes. 

He took a longer time showering and not just because of all the glitter he kept finding. The night before already felt like a distant dream, someone elses memories. How it felt to pin Magnus down and kiss him breathless, how it felt to have Magnus grinding down on you, they all felt like a fevered day dream. He could almost tell himself it wasn't real except for the stamina rune, fresh and bold on his skin with that bite mark beside it. 

Still, it was better he told himself it was just a dream because a Lightwood couldn't do that, couldn't be that way. The proof was in Izzy, out there in that strange dress that covered more of her than anything had in years, and the way their parents had treated her over her relationships. A Lightwood had to meet expectations and those included living and marrying respectably. Downworlders were a no-no and he knew for certain that they could never know he'd spent the night with a male downworlder. 

Izzy was cleaning up her act and he had to do the same, he wouldn't leave her alone in this. He couldn't leave his little sister to take the brunt of everything. 

But then he also knew that when Magnus was in the room every fibre of his being longed for him. 

So, was that going to be his choice? Magnus Bane or being the man he's always trained and planned to be? 

Every shadowhunter's dedication was tested at least once, he remembered Hodge teaching them one day. Temptation versus duty. It seemed that he, Alec, was Eve and Magnus was the forbbiden fruit. 

And, by the Angel, he desperately wanted to sink his teeth into that fruit.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr under the same name blu_eyed_demon, feel free to follow and chat! 
> 
> And if you want to send me prompts for malec or any other shadowhunter pairings, head on over to blu-eyed-fic


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